Skip to main content

A Moment Of Clarity.

As I was praying and reading the word I just had something revealed to me just minutes ago. I'm a new creation in Christ and I am so used to defining myself as a former prostitute and drug addict and I am not seeing what has been happening in the past month as a new creation. 
I have deep resentments and anger and rage and pain inside and I am carrying someone else's guilt and shame that I have no business upholding myself to. I am just now beginning to heal and I hate to admit that I am fragile. Its not like me to open myself up this much, yet I have to be transparent about it. 
Those very resentments and anger and pain inside is going to hold me back.  I feel like Satan is playing with my mind and trying to feed me nonsense and deception by still keeping me captive.  I must start the real work in getting rid of these for my father in Heaven wants so much more for me. This word was very hard to swallow for I am not that old creature anymore.
I am the clay and the almighty is my potter and I must just let the control go so God can move mountains in my life!
In closing I'm going to say that I am a beautiful flower that God is turning into a beautiful woman of God no matter if I feel like my life was in ashes, for its not like that no more through the Power of Redemption through Jesus Christ! I'm not going to give up five minutes before the miracle happens!
Journey to Totality [ Karla ]

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Forgiveness

Short of twenty four hours ago I was preparing for the biggest thing ever that I had to do. I was watching a scope on Periscope and there was a drawing of balloons in the sky and flowers and a fire. The Holy Spirit spoke to me and asked me how much longer I was going to hold onto a major resentment and pain that my father put me through? I had enough of holding onto it once and for all I was going to take the cotton out of my ears and shut my mouth and listen! I was told to write my resentments on paper and burn it and write a letter to my father and to forgive him.  I did then I went to the store and bought a balloon and flowers and I was told to go up to the mountains and tie the letter to the ballon and to let go of it and I did and when I did that I felt the needless guilt and shame that I was carrying inside of me totally gone. I did this at three am Saturday and I now feel so liberated and I feel so relieved! I usually have flashbacks everyday and I have had not one!!! God...
Post a Comment
Read more

Feeling Overlooked.

I have been very transparent about what happened to me as a baby and a little girl and a young woman.  I was repeatedly sexually molested from the age of three years old and then I got recruited by a much older man into prostitution.  I got no attention unless I was being used as a sex object.  When I got out of the life of drugs and prostitution eleven years ago I ended up in the gay lifestyle. In the gay lifestyle I was known as a " butch" I was the very dominant one. I have been acting out sexually for so long that I have actually programmed my mind to think it was normal.  I feel used, abused by men and totally discarded by women far as my mother not doing anything about me getting molested by my father. In essence I feel like I didn't matter for she was a special education teacher and she reported abuse happening in her students homes when I desperately needed her to stand up and fight for me. I feel rejected, hurt and abandoned by my mother and to be even mor...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fantasy Becomes Reality

These days we watch so much garbage on TV and movies and we think " oh that won't happen to me " or " it is just a TV show or a movie " . Let's not forget pornography either! The more we watch the more Satan has gotten a foot hold into out hearts, desires and more importantly our minds.  The delusions which are lies become so strong that we are now chasing the illusions. Satan works first by putting lies into our minds and here we are chasing the illusions that's all called instant gratification! I'm going to tell my Testimony as it exactly is tonight.  First I was a child and I was being molested by my adopted father who happens to be a Baptist pastor and he was a pervert in nature and he took his perversion out on me and it became both of our reality, his being a predator and mine a victim of sexual perversion.  Then not only did it become reality but it became torturous for me to the point where I ran away from home and I fell into the hands of a...
Post a Comment
Read more